Several months ago, after finally having ENOUGH of the warp speed of my change in personality, I decided I had better get myself to the doctor before I did some bodily harm to someone.
I knew what he meant. He didn't mean "housework", or dog walking, he meant real live exercise that gets your heart rate up and keeps it up for a period of time where you are sweatin' bullets!
The sweatin' part I have down pat. No problem there sista!
Okay. My butt hurts. We have to get up. I will come back to this conversation.
Okay. Butt numb now. Gotta get up.
Let's talk again.
What NOT to do When You're Hormonal
Don't spit into the wind; and
Don't order checks.
You wind up with something incredibly ugly or ridiculous...and find yourself asking yourself in just a few days, when the hormones go back into hibernation..."what in the WORLD was I drinking, smoking or doing---that caused me to order this mess! (No, I don't drink nor smoke.)
I just broke out in a sweat just thinking of it!
No, wait. The sweat was already there. Started last night. Has been off and on like a light bulb that is about to blow.
So I examine what I did...what started it? Was it the coffee? No, because it STARTED last night. I don't drink coffee at night. It happened right about the time I laid my head to rest...
Does that mean when I go horizontal I break out in sweat?
It seemed that way for months, but then it started happening when I was in the middle of putting on makeup. I'd apply the foundation...and it would melt right off! SO---I now use MaryKay mineral makeup---powder form. It's light. No sliding off. It gets very depressing...sweating while you are dressing.
On that note, I found myself being very selfish this weekend.
We had company. Jeff's brother and his wife and 4 of their 5 kids. I LOVED having them. The problem was---I'm hot---they're not.
See where I'm going?
I passed out blankets, quilts, sheets, pillows, made beds in the living room, gave Toma (sister-in-law) a pair of fuzzy warm pj's (because I know she is cold natured) and then after some "sharing and conversation" in the living room, we retired for the night. I set the thermostat---1 whole degree warmer than I normally do...for their sake.
I was hot. They were not.
After we got the breakfast foods out and people were milling around, I asked them, "How'd you sleep last night?"
"Good---but it sure is cold" (several of them stated with icicles hanging from their nose).
A couple didn't complain...well maybe only Cliff, Jeff's brother, but he said he enjoyed sleeping in the winter time with covers up to his nose....
It was then that I realized how selfish I was. I set the atmosphere for "me". . .not my guests.
So, I leave you with this today....supposing you are on FIRE hormonally speaking. You are sweating---you have company. Do you alter the temperature in your home to suit their needs?? Knowing FULL WELL that sweating makes you unpleasant grouchy to be around?
Or, do you pass out blankets, and be the sweetest hostess with a smile and a laugh?
I want to know what you do...I know what I did. (Don't scold me...just love me.)
As mother says, "This too shall pass"....I am hoping sooner rather than later!
Oh, I almost forgot!
The results of my spit test showed I have adrenal fatigue, low levels of cortisol, my progesterone and estrogen levels were very low as well. The links I have provided were very informative to me. Maybe they will help you too!
Another site I found today for information on Bioidentical hormone therapies and then the Center for BHRT Information with many doctors listed are inserted into this text. I am not saying go running to your doctor. What I am saying is pay attention to what your body is telling you.
FIRST pray. If everything is right with your heart and Jesus---then start paying attention to what you might be doing to yourself. For instance, white sugars? Too many starches? To many caffeinated beverages? (I know---that was a real hum-dinger for me!) Be sure and let your doctor know EVERYTHING that you are up against. Don't hold back! AND please research what he prescribes. Know what you are taking.
Keep a journal of your eating habits. Your exercise---I guess that means we have to exercise!
Find someone that will be your accountability partner...maybe someone who doesn't mind hearing "how much you sweat"! (It doesn't bother me...because I am right there with ya baby!)
Thanks for listening,
(a.k.a. Trusting HIM to make me better, Angie)
Photo credit goes to Art.com
Embrace the Tears....
On Monday, we had errands to run when I got home from work. We went to Lowe's, then Walmart, then filled up the truck with fuel, then ran to a "fast food" place. I ordered light...but still. It was what it was.
THEN while driving the very short distance back home, I teared up. Reason? Who knows. There doesn't have to be a reason. It happens.
I sucked it up and squelched it back as best I could...no since in worrying Jeff. Men, including mine, do not like tears. Tears might require them to "fix" something...this something can't be fixed. Some men instinctively know to either "hold you close" or "run" for their lives. Some don't have a clue.
I think, judging from the past 27 years, Jeff would feel bad for not knowing what to do...but he wouldn't run.
This morning, as I was driving to work, I felt the Lord say, "embrace" the tears. Share them with Me.
Instinctively I do talk to the Lord when tears gather, although it may not always sound like a prayer...and I don't think it has to be a prayer. It can be a discussion. Just make sure you give Him time and space to discuss back to you. Tune your ears heavenward.
Take a few deep breaths. When I take my deep breath, I say either out loud --or to myself, "thank you Jesus".
There are those times when the tears have a bit of an angry sting in them. From my own experience....it's best to let God deal with those as well. He knows what is best for me. Always.
When the tears come to my eyes, I sometimes find myself pulling out old garbage that I have horded up---held onto---and sometimes it has even started to decay. Most of the time I allow the LORD to deal with the stuff, but I will be honest--there are times that it's just too much. I stuff it back down with a very Scarlett O'Hara attitude of "I'll think about that tomorrow!"
That is not the right way. I know that very well.
Psalm 61:1-2 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (NIV)
There's an old song that says, "Tears are a language, God understands"---and I believe only He truly understands these hormonal tears of mine.
Often you've wondered why tears come into your eyes
and burdens seem to be much more than you can stand.
But God is standing near, he sees your falling tears,
tears are a language God understands.
So, embrace your Father, He will embrace your tears and wipe them dry.
Trusting Him to fix me,
(I think the lyrics are written by the Booth Brothers)
WHEN is Enough really ENOUGH?
Sometimes my enough takes longer to get here...other times...it's really quick.
Case in point. One day this past week I was a mess of emotions. Headache, dizzy, hot, then COLD, then hot. The cold part was a real shock to my system. I was freezing! I was so surprised!
I was blow drying my hair and instead of sweatin' it back wet, I actually put the blow dryer to my neck and down the back of my shirt. Yeah, that does sound pretty crazy now.
Then I got sick feeling. Then I laid back down and text messaged the boss. Not coming in. Sick.
I stayed home from work. I dozed back off and then got up in a sweat. Again. (It's actually happening right now.)
CRAZY things last week. You girls tell me if you've experienced this.
The normal hot then--- "not-hot" times. The phone ringing OFF THE HOOK at the office. Then a time or two some tightness in my chest (no left arm hurting) and then it would go away. Of course, I am guzzling cold drinks. ANYTHING cold. Some with caffiene, some without. No caffiene after about 2 'ish. It keeps me up (more than normal).
Okay, I noticed the day I stayed home...no tightness in my chest. AND none whatsoever today (Saturday). So, is there a connection? Is it all in my mind? Am I having an anxiety issue with the work phones??
I am taking the prescribed meds...the bionatural hormone replacement. Today, I actually "felt" a bit better than last week. Although I still laid down with the grandsons that were visiting and took a little snooze, I felt better. Maybe, I need to work in a snooze at work? What do you think?
By the way, the foggy picture is the feeling. In a fog still. Not my normal chipper, go-get-'em self. But I BELIEVE I will get there! I believe the fog will lift and I will be able to SEE clearly again!
Life is a Puzzle...Only God has all the Pieces
On the last visit she had with him about that issue, after full examination, he wrote on his note pad, "no further medication is needed. Patient healed after much prayer."
I don't know about you, but I have to pray daily for the issues in my life. There are many family needs that I continue to take to the Father, along with people that He brings to my mind during the night, or while in my devotion in the mornings. Daily prayer...for this daily living.
I KNOW that one day, I will look back at "these days" and say, "Whew!" It's done!
But for today, I have the fan on my desk. I change it's position periodically.
Today really has been a better day. I put on full makeup! That may sound crazy...but there have been days lately, didn't feel I could muster up the fortitude to stand there and keep trying ---since the effort seemed to not last very long!
Some people may feel I have been too transparent. But I ask you...why? I don't think the issues of hormones should be hidden. I think I can better cope if I know more about what is going on. For that matter, if you've experienced something and it was a success in dealing with yours, please let us all know! That is cause for great celebration! Another puzzle piece can be slid into place!
Prayer is key. This is one thing I know for sure.
This passage from Isaiah was part of my devotion this morning. I am sharing it from the Amplified Version. You will recognize it quickly.
Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who wait for the LORD [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles pmount up to the Sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired."I don't know what that does in your heart...but it gives me HOPE!
Let's journey on! We can do this!
I have much more mind to offer Mr. Read. Or Mr. Clean House even. I enjoy Mr. Stroll...but Mr. Exercise??? He makes me sweat. I NOT like sweat! (I said that in typical "Cookie Monster" voice.)
Exercise is a really good idea...but it takes a mind set. A made up mind. A determined mind. I'm not sure how much mind I have to offer Mr. Exercise.
I much more enjoy preparing a meal for my family, setting a pretty table (not very talented in the "setting" part--but I still enjoy trying :) ), and I enjoy some "gazing out the window" at the world time.
Not so much exercise.
But--this past weekend, I purchased a pair of new running shoes....just in case the mood to run strikes. Not as in "runaway bride", but as in "exercise"---or at least give it my best shot. I have a feeling---they will be used more for some nice strolls.
Running walking fast we will go!
This will help with the hormone changes. Yes. I know. I don't either. But the book says...it raises the level of our serotonin and that's a GOOD thing. (The linked article is very informative!)
So, with the weekend upon us....let see how much exercise (heart-rate increasing) we can do! (Don't I sound chipper??)
He's fixing me,
Help for the Hormonal Soul
I know you think I've got the answer of all answers.
I am smiling while typing this because you are going to think I'm crazy!
I bought the CD set of the "Study of David" from the Deeper Still event in Nashville, featuring Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.
Can I just tell you that I've listened to Priscilla and Beth---and could not help but cry at so much of what they shared. The Word knowledge of Kay Arthur and her powerful testimony will also stir the soul!
Whether you believe me or not, this set of CD's "Anointed~Transformed~Redeemed" REALLY blessed me in the critical phase of the fluctuating hormones of mine! I was able to pray through---cry through and praise through the toughest of days!
Okay. On to other stuff.
I haven't written in more than a week. Maybe longer. I think I've had "bloggers block". Whatever.
I've been writing (with actual pencil and paper) in my devotional book, "My Utmost" by Oswald Chambers. That has been so needed and absolutely necessary in these past few weeks! So while I've not been writing "to you"...I've been writing to HIM.
My medicine has pretty much leveled out---I am feeling better---almost like my old self (not sure if that's exactly good *wink*), but there was a day a couple of weeks ago, when I received a letter that brought tears and pain. (*see note at the bottom)
All that said, I'm okay now, the LORD revealed to my heart the "why" this person wrote in such a manner to me...and while I don't agree---I do understand what the enemy is about.
He's up to no good. He, the enemy, is out to kill, steal and destroy all that is good in your life. If he can work through your hormones he will. If he can work through your job, he will. If he can work through your family or friends, he will.
What I want you to know is that you CAN recognize what he's about in your life and put a stop to it. Prayer will stop him in his tracks.
Every time. Prayer is key to deliverance in all of this "stuff" we call life!
Make Proverbs 4:20-22 a prayer for the "dailyness" of our lives...especially the hormones.
"I will attend to God's words; consent and submit to His sayings. I will not let them depart from my sight but will keep them in the center of my heart. For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh."
Romans 8:37 "I am more than a conqueror through Christ Who loves me."
Write those on a card and stick them on your mirror or tape it on the dashboard...reminding yourself daily, as I have to, that His Word is true---and He is with you all the way.
*One thing I found out on the day the letter came: the medicine that "had been working fine"---abruptly ceased---almost---when the stress hit the fan. It was a major stress...and it really hit the fan.
So, deep breath, lots of prayer, focus on HIM and not on the circumstance. If you are taking your hormone replacement and feel that it's not working as it once did, examine your life before the doctor increases your dosage. It may be a simple matter of "de-stressing"---or de-cluttering your heart life.
**Picture of my mother's garden bench.**